Excerpt: Trains

1: A Wide Eyed George Experiences the Vibrancy of City Life from a Train Car

(George is 14. Clint, his older brother, is 17. Mom and Dad are 40. Their bodies sway and jerk back and forth in unison. Left to right. Right to left. To center. To left. To right. To center. There are a couple randoms in the vicinity, including Man Who Will Be Doug.)

GEORGE
(To audience.) What’s up? (Pause.) Oh, shit. You need to meet everyone. So, um…this is my Dad.

DAD
We’re gonna have a great time today champ.

GEORGE
(To audience.) He’s 45. He’s a refrigerator salesman. This is my Mom.

MOM
Beautiful day for your first time in the city.

GEORGE
She’s 43. She works at a bank. And this is Clint.

CLINT
Beautiful day for your first time in the city. Grow a pair, penis wrinkle.

GEORGE
(To audience.) He’s 17. He’s a shithead.

MOM
George, language.

GEORGE
(To audience.) And I’m George. I’m 14. I live in Itasca, Illinois, which is….that way. It is one of the great dreams of my life, even though I’m still only 14 and not yet able to articulate such idealistic notions, to meet someone to love, preferably a girl, on the trains of Chicago. But I’ve never ridden the train and I’ve never been to Chicago. Until today.

LOUDSPEAKER
This is a purple line express train headed to Washington & Wells. Next stop is Belmont. Doors open on the right at Belmont.

GEORGE
Why did we park so far away?

CLINT
Because parking in downtown Chicago is like a hundred dollars an hour, dicktard.

MOM
Boys.

(Pause.)

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